I

FINISHED

i finished schooling. I handed in my last paper today. I finished film studies .

nbr just called

from the airport , for 20 mins ....
he is on his way to u

Kayro

i had access to Al-Ahram Newspaper on micro film as part of my research.found really interesting stuff.Take a look at the "Sijarat Kol 3arabi"
June 1967

Evidence of man in prehistoric saudi arabia

Amreeka sharrun mutlak

Tub how is the land of the free ya NBR5?

word of the day

abjection

samarah

did i tell u that i (then it becamse we) used to tell ma7moud "dovda3" and then "ibin il dovda3" because his father sounds like him ,.... mahmoud if u read this , with lots of love this picture made me laugh my ass off and reminded me of u ,,, but didnt want to send ti so he doesnt get offended so i said trahaat it better

due

these things i saved for tarahaat when the rough patch was here ,

so here u are ,

i finished and exam today and only have a paper left for the

enjoy:

and

from Stalker 1979 by Tarkovsky

Listen, Professor.
Speaking of the purchased inspiration.
Let's imagine that I enter this room
and return to our God-forsakentown a genius.
A man writes because he's tormented,because he doubts.
He needs to constantly proveto himself and the others
that he's worth something.
And if I know for surethat I'm a genius?
Why write then?
What the hell for?
Well, I must say
that we exist for...


Will you be so kindand leave me alone?
Let me get a wink,l haven't slept all night.
Keep your complexes to yourself.

In any case,all this technology of yours...
all those blast furnaces, wheels...
and other bullshit
are only designed in orderto work less and eat more.
They are all just crutches,artificial limbs.
And mankind existsin order to create...
works of art.
Unlike all other human activities,this one is unselfish.
Great illusions!lmages of the absolute truth!
Are you listening to me, Professor?

What unselfishness are you talkingabout?
People still die of hunger.Have you fallen from the moon?

And they are considered to beour brainy aristocracy!
You're not even capable of thinkingin abstractions.

Are you going to teach meabout the meaning of life?
And also how to think?

lt's useless. You might bea professor, but an ignorant one.

Thus Spoke Zarathustra

it went like shit. i was very upset afterwards.
am very irritable and higly flamable. trying to avoid ppl so i dont take it out on them , but my brother is here all the fucking time and am bound to blow up in his face and tell him to fuck off.
why dont he go fuck off and study at the library i dont know. I feel i want to go back and live alone , cause living back and being a fucking babysitter is fucked , I didnt ask to be a dad at 29. Infact i dont have kids for this specific reason, i dont want to carry anyother ppll's responsibility and papmber them and be nice to them when i dont feel like to , otherwise i will give them 3o2ad mafsyeh like fucking the xx-girlfriend (who i wont say her name) who would make me feel guilty as being her father and as am being responsible for her phsicological well being,,, I dont want to feel guilty abpout anyone , any eveyone should work on their own phscological and personal state of mind. I didnt have anybody to wipe the shit off my ass when i was growing up (and still). ohh but thats why..... u should open up more ,, fuckyou , fuck you , and fuck u all, and fuck opening up , and fuck the phsocological advises . and fuck the post modern worrld with the different categoris of desises that they will have to invent for u , and fuck the west ., and fuck super man and batman, and fuck Godard , and fuck the audiance,. and fuck the gulf and Qatar and UAE and the prostiuttes in Emarits and Mahmoud Samara, and his company EDS and Naji and the American Armey he was working with and the 10,000 $ they pay him per month and Kurdistan and the fucking 3abayah , and tarik 3atreesi and his design company , and his gasyness , and 3ali sherri , and ofcourse fadi il khara ibin il 66 sharmutah , and il KSA and all the saudis and their hepocracy and their pedifilia and thier balck cloth they were for women and their backwordness and their accent and the shibshib that costs 600$ , ITS a FUCKING SLIPPER show can it cost 600$ i dont know , and fuck their condenceding attittude towrds the rest of arabs who work theier . and fuck the egyption hypocracy when working their and when they say "ya beih" and fuck the jordanin-palestinines who work itn eh gulf and their head made of steal and thier love to getting fucked by the world , and their love of ebing victimes , and their love to become more and more religous and their love to oppress the women, and fucck the women who show off with their husbuinds and kids , and who suck their husbunds asess , and fuck 3hisha2 il bakara, and fuck fucking in the ass , and fuck 3amman , and fuck lebanon and their self awarness , and their racisme , and their shofanism , and thie thinking that they are all smart and the whole country wants top be bussness men who make money and steal from other ppl , they all want to be millioiarezs from selling u one itme,. all lebanese think they are 7arabee2 , fuck il 7arabee2 and fuck samer rayaah, and fuck AUB and all the rich kids that went there , and all the poor kids that lived in the dorms and fuck rami i forgot his last name but fuck him , and fuck fahed malhas and his fuckedupness and his 3 million dollar appartment and fuck mahmoud who suck up for him and fuck dina the biggest drama queen and biggest conservative hypcrit , and mahoumd and her for being more hypcratical than when they are alone : they form a pot of hypocracy, and fuck samer rayaah again , and fuck il nadii , and ahhhh here is a good one : fuck tarek , tarek tab3 il jam3a il 3arabyeh , fuck him , and fuck u wael for conspring with him that time and trying to throw me out of the nadi : bas khod. tarek what , iforgot . bas fuck him big time , and fuck hani and the sbayti brotherws (altouhg one of them is dead ) did i tell u that one of them was lecturing us about being relouis and shit and one time i busted him comming out of that porno cinema next to the dorms gate , for fuck's sake its a disgusting place man, we were eatingat Ivoir ,and fuck eating when u are a student casue u always dont knwo what to eat and laways runnign out of options and always same food and never enough money , and have to work to fucking eat , and fuck Dean Haaj, and fuck Akhdar , and fuck AUB again ,ma dn Westhouse and Nabil il habeel who sucked th resnt out of us , and photo ghali , and dyran and joumana , and fuck shari3 il bristol ,and barbar , just kidding i love barbar ! are u kidding me the best mana2eesh of la7mi and bes beef shawrma , and bes maftool ,,,, eyh ya barbar . well isnsted fuckl il afraan il watnyah . ah feels better , but there is still more . fuck marc and his attittude and his accusative attitude , and fuck suzana and her nerdiness and her lack of social skills, well fuck khador (cause he said that ppl who have CPA dont have social skills , well fuck u and fuck ur social skills u motherfuck , u only get by because of ur looks u shit head dont think that ur funny or even have anythign interesting to say ,,,) fuck him and fuck all the self-hating arabs who think that they suck and theythink that the west makes humans out of them . fuck them big time. and fuck zyar ra7bani who they keep listinig too and who they only know ,,, 12 years after they left they listen to nazil il sororr and think its fresh and funny and refrence it in the conversations . and then they comeand what to be better than the rest off ppl. well , fuck chez Andre and the new place he moved to and ofcourse fuck Arture , and fuck samara ma3karoon and her big ugly nose and her bad makeup and her stupid laugh and her slow brain and her idea that she is funny and that she is "jaree2a" and adventuress . and fuck ziad sa7aab , and tare2 ma3loof and taree2 sakijaah and his father and Roche company and the 400 $ i got from them , no i take that back , that was like the easiet money i ever did . fuck making money and programming , and fuck Nayla and Mr shmali and fuck nayla's husbund who treates her like crap and fuck her attittude who is such a rich ppl's attittude who think all the poorer ppl want to steal from them. and ofcourse her sister and her chiktook place and EVERYbody who buys from there cause they are stupid coocksuckers and make her rich while she fucks them over, and ofcourse fuck u najib for doing work for them for cheap because ur too afriad to ask money so u are not being thought to be greedy , and fuck not being greedy.
akh,.
I ahave an exam tomorrow , i still have to go and study ,
but before , airi bi Canada , and the weather and the weather of qatar , everbody in qatar.
thats how it went sit suha, ya and fuck all the rich ppl ur working with and ,,,,,,,,
have any of u seem thartharah fouka al neel , its adaptatio fo najib mahfouz's book. I ahte najib mahoufz. one time i had an arabic 201 exam , and as usual taha didnt go to school or study. I went to the exam , but the night before i read i think it was Middaq Ally and i couldnt put it down till i finished it . when the result came back , the teacher gave everybody their papers and then took me to the side and told me : this is the best think i have ever read from a student , but u got a very bad grade on the next section of grammer. then he asked me why i dont come to class. Jo7a was cool man. and speeking about that class: one time Jinaan , the first girl i had a crush on in school , came and toold me that we have a new date for the exam , i really appritiated that from her.
yalla if u still readnig then u have nothing better in ur life to do.

i have this tomorrow

am doung this tomorrow at 6. wish me luck . dont mind the poster , its a student desgin .....

Tub keef?

Keef everything you ever do in life always comes back to haunt u at some point or the other?
Ma ba3fir, bass baddi ihrub.
W inta ya sayyid apunctum, emta jayeh la3anna?
we went to la jetee in tokyo. a tiny pub owned by this film addict. u see the bottles in the background? they're all signed by international filmmakers. the place accommodates about 8 people, but its great.

leaving

my freiend aytam Bayman (thats not his real name) just called me , and he said that he will be leaving canada back to Imarat by the end of the month.
there is a great feeling of emptyness creeping in. Aytam , was livign in toronto . I just realized how this whole time/place is crule. I realized that i only saw ayman hanfull of times, and many only for couple of hours. But the best time was our trip to montreal , it was really good times with lots of laughter that his wife said after we drove for 5min "7le, taha ow ayman la2o ba3ad , il hadami ma ra7 tikhlas" !
Ahmad , also left couple of weeks ago, wael might leave. w the hell am still doing here? I didnt come with anyone , i came before them all and i came alone . they came after and are or will leave . But i feel my staying here is affected by theirs.

(and why does every body tell me that i should satrt paying attention to my future.
ahmad befoe and now aytam and i could hear it in many other voices. Theya re right , in a way ;i havent accumilated any material waelth (or accumilation of anything).....)

back to reading

snooz , aka 5 more min please

who invited the snooz button ??
is it
a) God
b) The Devil
c) A person who humanity owes alot to
d) Alfonso Snooz

who ever s/he is , thank u for giving humanity millions of hours of almost asleep/awake time

why

why the fuck does everybody think that my name is Taha Samirtaha .
nobody is convinced that my name is Taha Taha or Taha Samir Taha .
ppl insist that my last name is Samirtaha ....

Oxygene

do u listen to Jean Michel Jarre ? does he make u wana kill urself sometimes ? anwyays , i know its old elctoronic stuff he does but walla it can be good.

anways , am about to nag a bit , but am even too naged in my head that i dont want to nag. I will just go the balconey and get some fresh air and think about things.
if i cannot nag here where can i nag.
am not asking for much , wallahi , i will tell u about what i want later .....
now to the balcon